The worst thing about douchebags is that they seem to be spreading. More guys have been going to “salons” for manicures, spray-on tans, or both. Don’t allow yourself to become a douchebag! Read our list of possible douchebag symptoms, if you find yourself guilty of anything here: Stop performing that action! It will move you in the right direction to becoming a functioning member of society. For the good of society, please prevent this from becoming an unstoppable epidemic.
Treating Your Girlfriend Like Crap and blaming it on her. True sign of an uber-douche.
Acting And Dressing Like A Rock Star
You’re Picture Has Shown up on this website.
You Spritz Yourself Liberally with Axe Body Spray before dates. And you’re 30. And you think it’s cool. Gross. Go buy some Cool Water or something!
You’ve Worn A Basketball Jersey To School
You Talk Incessantly About Your High Paying Job And Phat Ride
You Would Have Voted For Kerry
You Own More Than 10 Pairs Of Flip Flops
You Bag On Gay People and you’ve never met a gay person in your entire life. Corollary is hating on any other race even though you’ve never had direct relationships with people of any of race, ethnicity, or persuasion other than your own.
Ditching Your Guy Friends to go hang out with a chick that you have no shot with.
It’s Friday Morning. You Already Called To Put Your Name On A Guestlist Somewhere For The Weekend. Perhaps you should just ask them to put down “D. Bag and guest”, the guest being your unjustifiably large ego
You’ve Ever Worn Just A Wife Beater Anywhere
You Have A Picture Of Yourself Posing In The Bathroom On Your Facebook
Hanging Your German Car Keychain Out Of Your Pocket, And Your Car Is A 1996
You Reminisce About How Awesome Your High School Gym Class Touch Football Team Was
You Claim To Be Italian Although You’ve Never Been To Italy And Your Last Native Italian Relative Came To America In 1900
You’re Violently Protective Of Your Community College
The Amount Of Hair Gel On Your Head Could Properly Lubricate An M-1 Abrams Tank
You’ve Ever Complimented Another Guy On How Ripped His “Pecs Look”
You Own “Growing Up Gotti” On DVD
Your Wallet Is Attached To Your Pants Via Wallet Chain You Bought At Hot Topic
You Spend More Time At The Gym Than You Do Working At A Job
The Majority Of Your Sentences Begin And End With The Words “Dude” “Bro” And/Or “Yo.”
You’re Not Wearing A Shirt In Your Facebook Picture
You Own A Scarface Poster
The Amount Of Books You’ve Read Is Less Than The Amount Of Cell Phones You’ve Owned
Your Cell Phone’s Wallpaper Is A Victoria’s Secret Model
You Start Fights Over The Best Brand Of Whey Protein
You Go Tanning
You Own An Abercrombie And Fitch Credit Card
You Wear Sunglasses At Night
You’ve Been Able To Emphatically Answer Yes To Anything On This List
Any more douchey moves you want to add to the list? Leave in comments section.